My Best Friend is an Atheist

My best friend is an atheist, I am a liberal muslim. By liberal, I mean I adhere to the belief in God and stick to practicing the very basic properties of Islam (shalat/daily prayers, fasting and zakat). I care less about the other dos and don’ts. He is a non-believer but has read both the Bible and the Qur’an inside out. I have never even finished reading the Qur’an. His understanding and knowledge on the history of religion surpasses mine significantly. Nevertheless, I think I can safely say that I am a firm believer in the existence of God and Islam, just as he is a firm believer in the absence of God and the power of reason.

Between our meals, coffees and drinks, many hours have been spent debating, arguing and discussing about religion, religiosity and religious behavior. We no longer live in the same city, but bytes and bandwiths still manage carry our thoughts across the ocean and provide us with a medium to exchange our views. So when I read this post from a friend on the internet, my immediate reaction was to forward the link to said best friend.

As expected, another debate ensued. He respects believers, and has never in any way belittles me and my belief, but he has a problem with the indomitable nature of religion. To him, religion does not want to be questioned nor criticized: religion IS, period, and can often drive fanatic believers to do irrational things. Reason on the other hand, is dialectical. It thrives for perfection the more and more you question it. Unlike religion, so he said…

How can I possibly accept that? How can I explain to him that for me, religion has been the exact opposite of that : the more I practice it, the more I feel that I’ve come closer to becoming a better person…. the more I practice it, the closer it brings me to my private dialogue with the Superior Being up there? How can I explain that I could not have survived many dark episodes and extremely low points in my life without my belief in God?

Then suddenly it occurred to me, that perhaps he and I weren’t exactly on the same wave length, perhaps we were comparing apples with bananas. I stumbled upon this post earlier, then it hit me. What kept me going so far was not my religion, but my Faith in God or what we in Indonesia would call iman. My faith in the existence of the Superior Being, above and beyond this universe, is what has helped me to escape some of the darkest episodes of my life. Faith in God has put me at ease, and established my continued assurance that in the very, very, very long run, this will work out for the best. It always has and it always will. What is religion then? Religion is a collection of teachings, a ‘how-to-get-to-know God’ kit. Without religion, without the properties of practicing shalat and fasting, I perhaps would not have found it in me, this faith in God…..

That of course, is my very own understanding of the word religion. But it surely isn’t that of those who plant suicidal bombs that killed hundreds of people. In fact, religion can and has been interpreted in many, many different and conflicting ways. But I think to fully comprehend this behavior, one must understand that in many aspects, religion has become a culture, an identity, one that is guarded carefully. If being a Muslim is what defines you, then yes, you would naturally want your kids to marry other muslims. If certain religious teachings have made what you are today, and the values and norms (i.e. never eat pork, never have pre-marital sex, never drink alcohol) are the values that you were brought up with, then you would naturally want to abide by it and demand that your environment understands that. If one believes that Prophet Mohammad is a noble man, one would naturally be angry at cartoon images that mock him. Sadly, one can also use religion as a justification of ill-behavior (and yes, I am talking about polygamy here!)

So there we have it, I finally admit that he is not entirely wrong ;-). Will we ever stop debating and arguing? I don’t think so. His decision to become an atheist was a conscious one, just as much conscious and aware as mine to become a believer. We’ll always be reading into things through different lenses. Besides, we are both conscious nerds who enjoy bickering and debating and fighting to have the last word in an argument. He usually wins though, and I resort to articulating in a blog, to appeal to other parties ;-)